I don’t give up all too quickly.
Blog Post: 25/52
This poem is a journey through Shmoneh Esrei, the Amidah, in my daily morning prayer. It’s about connection, it’s about distraction, it’s about trying. Open up your siddur – follow along.
Three steps backward,
Three steps forward.
the same G-d that Avraham spoke to,
He’s listening to me.
The ones we don’t see.
for it to get to His throne?
Every year, since social media became a part of my life, I’ve noticed a yearly trend.
As each year comes to a close, the low parts rise to the top.
Social media is filled with memories of tough, crazy, miserable experiences we’ve had in the past year.
With the future year a clean slate, people begin to claim that this year will be their year. This year will be the one that goes right. The year they finally do everything they always wanted to do.
But this keeps happening every year.
Obviously, a year is much too long a time to be anyone’s year. Too many days, too many moments to make it an all around good year. And we tend to dwell on the negative, us humans, so chances are, no matter what, as the year ends we will remember the pain.
What a sad way to welcome a new year.
So much hope, so much expectation, so much belief goes into January 1st.
At some point this week I was upset about something. It’s been something I’ve been working for, and it was continuously being pulled away from me.
I was frustrated. I was tired.
Suddenly, I had this moment of shame.
I am so unbelievably lucky.
G-d has granted me so much – so what if I don’t have every single thing I want?
Like a spoiled child, I continuously noticed what I was lacking rather than recognizing the endless gifts.
So I decided to try to re-focus. To put my eyes on what was important. To step back, even if it’s a tiny step, and notice, appreciate and give thanks.
To spend some time each day really thinking about and appreciating the little things, the big things, the amazing things.
Because there are so many.
This coming year may not bring me everything I’m looking for.
This year may not be the year I become the person I want to be, or meet my other half, or make no mistakes.
But if I spend as much time thanking as I do asking, this year will be a step above the last one.
I pray He teach me compassion and empathy without giving me pain.
I pray that He helps me be more grateful for each thing I have.
2018 won’t be my year just because I don’t know what it holds yet.
2018 will be my year because I am alive, I am healthy, I have purpose, I have dreams and I have more and more each day to thank G-d for.
Blog Post: 15/52
Featured Photo via Unsplash