Today, I Was.

Today, I was.

When I am doing,

I am whole:

I am propelling,

I am hurrying,

I am moving,

I am shining.

When I am still,

I only am.

When my hands are empty,

When my soul is hurting,

When the world is dark,

When the world is silent,

G-d is beckoning.

He is calling me back to being,

He is handing me a gift

To return.

To just be.

I believe I need to shine,

But perhaps,

I need to just be.

If I am waning,

Am I really here?

Who am I?

If I am not doing,

What am I here for?

For the givers,

for the doers,

this is sacred work.

My worth lies not in what I can give.

My worth is here all along,

In the waxing and the waning.  

The sun is the show stopper,

The main event,

Yet the sun is burning itself,

To remain alive.

The sun can only give.

The moon can give.

The moon can receive.

The moon can be seen.

The moon can simply exist.

The moon waxes,

And it wanes.

The moon doesn’t need to shine

to be worthy

of its place in the sky.

I am moon.

I am not always whole

But I am always here. 

I am holy.

For I am human.

Inspired by listening to two “Human and Holy” podcasts back to back, the first with Chana Margulies and the second with Rivky Kaplan, on a bus ride back to Brooklyn.

Etti Krinsky

Photo by Luke Stackpoole on Unsplash

3 comments

  1. I just got done writing about how much I feel like failure. I feel like I’m failing right now because I’m not offering my skills, my time, or myself to the community in a substantial way. I’m just sitting when I could be moving. Then I open my computer and this is the first thing I see- your writing about “My worth lies not in what I can give.” That’s beautiful. It made me feel a little more okay.

    Like

      1. I came across your Public Diary today and really can relate to it so well.I learned that we can and must accept with joy.It’s the only way to go- let go!
        Fortunately or unfortunately experience is sometimes the only way to learn .

        Etty,
        Keep it up!

        Like

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