As an introvert
I write best
Surrounded by no one but my own thoughts.
As an introvert,
I feel G-d,
When it’s all one on one.
On Rosh Hashonah-
My whispered prayers became life lines
The slow tunes propelled me towards G-d.
On Yom Kippur-
My empty stomach spoke for me,
I felt the words in my siddur, deep down in my soul.
And then
On Sukkot-
The house is filled with loved ones,
There is chaos, there is busy, and food that needs to be made.
Activities to be planned.
Kitchens to be cleaned.
And I wonder:
Where is G-d?
The prayers are shorter
The time for looking inwards has past.
I feel G-d most
When there are tears in my eyes
And an ache in my soul.
But, I dream of better days,
More joy filling our streets,
A celebration in who we are.
Yet-
I struggle to find G-d in the bustle.
My soul must learn how to share.
My heart must learn to recognize G-d as a loved one.
And this Simchas Torah,
I am determined to find G-d,
Just as I did on Rosh Hashonah.
Just as I did on Yom Kippur.
I am determined to find Him
Between the dancing steps
The soaring notes
The deepest joy.
And perhaps,
I will even be able to write about it,
Before everyone’s gone.

Blog Post: 4/52

photo by: Tony Detroit on Unsplash